Friends or Frenemies?!

Recently, there was a quiz published on Essence website, “Friends or Frenemies”. What a interesting question to ask ourselves about our hair? Like our best friends we can be our worst enemy when it comes to how we perceive our hair optimally effecting our own self image and confidence level. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to determine whether you are a friend or foe to your natural hair. Simply answer with yes or no.

1. Are you constantly comparing your hair to other peoples hair, making comments like why can’t my hair do that or I wish my hair was more like…?

2. Do you manipulate your hair in order to make look or act a certain way that is unlike its natural texture? (other than regular styling such as chemical treatments texturizer, color, using products with harsh potentially harmful ingredients)

3. Do you talk negatively about others and/or your natural hair?

4. When others compliment your hair are you quick to point out her flaws?

5. Are you opposed to wearing your natural hair out because your afraid it won’t look or act right?

Scoring

Yes=1 No=2

10-8 points True Friend

You absolutely adore your natural hair and others. You have her best interest at heart. You know if you take care of your self that your taking care of her.

7-6 points Associate/Acquaintance

Your still in the “getting to know you” phase. You like your hair but not sure how she will act outside. Your learning what makes her tick. Stay encourage once you figure out what works and doesn’t you will become the best of friends.

5-0 points Foe Fo Sho

Girl, why don’t you like your natural hair? No really, you need to ask yourself how can I make this relationship work. You may find that your view of your natural is not realistic and dictated from the media and others perception of natural hair. You may need to face facts that you are a frenemy but that you can turn this relationship around with a little work and understanding.

Houston Natural Hair Meet Up

Hair Mavens: Tracee Ellis Ross « BLACKSTRANDS

Well what do ya know? I was looking at an old BET.com interview from Tracee Ellis Ross and its looks like she’s on the hair mayo bandwagon too! In the following Ms. Ross talks a bit about her hair regimen (including tips for detangling, deep conditioning and bringing out her natural curl):

Once a week, usually on a Sunday, my trick is that I go to the steam room and I fill my hair up with conditioner. There’s three different conditioners that I’ll use, that’s my deep conditioning day. I wash it once a week, sometimes twice depending on how many products we’ve put in my hair because if you wash it too much it gets dry. There’s a really cheap product called Hair Mayonnaise, it’s an organic product that you can buy at health food stores. It’s a big tub and it’s like a hair growth product [and] really good conditioner. Rene Furterer makes a conditioner called Karite Nourishing Conditioning Cream for dry hair ($22, 3.4 oz.). It’s expensive but good, but I say that the Hair Mayonnaise is just as good and cheap.

In terms of products to get my hair curly during the week, the trick is the Denman brush, a D4 ($17) or the industrial one, it’s the key to curls. [While in the shower,] wet your hair, fill it up with conditioner. I split my hair into six sections, bottom section split it in two, brush it over the shoulder, next section, brush it over the shoulder, etc. Leave the conditioner in. After I’ve brushed it out, I put a little more conditioner in my hair and (shaking the hair gently) I try to make the curls happen. You can see them develop at that point. Put the hair up in a clip, wash the body, do what you gotta do, rinse it out.

Her hair is natural and I love that she wears it in a range of curly to straight styles. Here are some pics of her mane over the years….just for some inspiration ;>

Hair Mavens: Tracee Ellis Ross « BLACKSTRANDS

Chunky French Braids

I was experimenting with something that was fairly quick and easy. My hair is finally at a point when I wear french braids. This was also a great way to stretch my hair. As you can see it look

semi straight. This look made me feel studious...

What I Did...

While co-washing I detangled my hair in the shower with a shower comb by taking my time and combing my hair to the back. Partly rinsed the conditioner out. Used my hands to ring out excess water. This time I decide to dry the hair by wrapping it with a cotton cloth. If you frequent the site you know I use a t-shirt. After about 3 minutes I removed the wrap and applied Giovanni Direct Leave In and a little Shealoe root to tip. Especially on the tips for prevent split ends. I parted the hair down the center and secure one side with an elastic ponytail holder or hair clips. I detangle the side I'm going to braid with my Denman Brush. When styling your hair always keep your spray bottle handy to keep the her damp. Damp natural hair is easier to style and it keeps the hair more flexible while minimizing breakage. Then begin to braid hair from front to back.

Professionals Keep It Kinky-Geherrie B.

Display Name Gehrrie D. Bellamy

Age (or age range): 28

Degrees: Bachelor of Arts – Political Science; Juris Doctorate

Industry: Legal

Title: Attorney

Questions

1. Based on your profession and corporate culture, what were your primary concerns about wearing natural hair in the workplace? How did you overcome them?

I never had a concern about wearing my hair natural. My primary concern was looking old enough to represent my clients in court. I have a natural youthful look, and wearing afros, braid-outs, kinky-twists, etc., only made me look younger. I needed a look that would allow me to look professional, and also look mature. Therefore, I decided to loc my hair, and haven’t looked back since.

2. How did your co-workers, clients and boss respond when you revealed your new do?

Everyone loved my locs, including my clients! What I have noticed is that clients appreciate the look because it shows that I’m different and don’t subscribe to the norms of what “normal” hair should look like. Also, I believe that locs, and generally natural hair, is a confidence booster, and clients can sense that.

3. Has your performance been rewarded since you’ve been natural? If not, do you believe your hair has been a factor? Any regrets?

My only regret about getting locs now is that I should have gotten them sooner! I believe that my performance has been rewarded in that I no longer have to spend 30 minutes doing my hair, as I once did even when I used to wear it in all of the cute styles once I did the big chop. Wearing my hair in locs has afforded me the opportunity to literally get up and go, without so much as touching my hair.

4. What advice would you offer a professional peer who’s on the fence about going natural?

I would first state to be realistic about what you want to do with your hair. When I was relaxed, I HATED doing my hair. I hated doing it, getting it done, maintaining it, etc. I thought that by going natural, I would alleviate the need to have to do my hair. That was so not the case, especially as a trial attorney. We have a very polished image to maintain, and the cute twist and/or twist-out styles were out of the question, unless you have a twa or extremely long hair. Therefore, I had to really evaluate what style could I get where I would literally never have to touch my hair except to wash it. Locs were the answer!

As a professional, it is all about maintenance when it comes to locs. Many were concerned that they would look unkempt or dirty. I moisturize my hair often, and tie them down every single night, even if I’m going to get them re-twisted the next day. I also wash once every other week and get them re-twisted twice a month. The result has been well-groomed locs which frankly look better than when my hair was relaxed.

If locs are too permanent for you, I would suggest either wearing natural hair closely cropped, or a style that will allow you to tie your hair down to keep your hair close to your head until it grows out longer, like coils, braids, twists, etc. The more your hair is allowed to “roam free”, the harder it is to look mature and polished. This is not to say that it can’t be done, but I got so frustrated every time a client would ask how long I’ve been licensed; how old I am; state that they had grandchildren older than me, etc. At the end of the night, it is a matter of personal preference, but I would not say under any circumstances that being natural is a hindrance in the legal community, or the professional realm as a whole.

Professionals Keep It Kinky-Ms. Silky Coils

Display Name  Ms. Silky Coils (blogspot), efficient1 (twitter) or Lainey May (facebook)

 

Age (or age range): i'm a PROUD 30 yr old. lol

Degrees: BA in Special and Elementary Education and MA in Higher Education Administration, SOON pursuing a Doctorate

Industry: Education, Consulting

Title: Director, Student Diversity Programs
 
Questions

1. Based on your profession and corporate culture, what were your primary concerns about wearing natural hair in the workplace? How did you overcome them?

Honestly, all those who see me in my work environment knew me with long STRAIGHT luxurious HEALTHY hair.  While I did not consider their feelings when deciding if this journey was right for me, I did wonder how they would react.  Also, would I get "in trouble" for not having "controllable" hair.  I work in a conservative environment (and am a little conservative myself when it comes to the work place) so I knew that the new look would be a lot for them. Lol.

The students and all my true co-worker/friends loved the new look.  From the BC to now being over a year natural they have been supportive. Honestly, I have inspired students to consider going natural AND for those who were in fact natural but doing the "societal styles" of weaving and straightening to recognize the beauty they had in them all this time and be more daring with wearing their natural hair (styles).

There was no real overcoming of the professional environment and what they thought of my hair.  While I was a little nervous, I knew no one would say anything to me. Lol. Even when I was not that confident, I walked with my head high and my confidence rubbed off I guess.  I know get NOTHING but compliments :)

2. How did your co-workers, clients and boss respond when you revealed your new do?

 
Well my true friends (who are co-workers) always has and still love my new look.  For the others, they complimented me on my braids (while transitioning) and every once in awhile will say something about my fro.  My boss....to this day STILL hasn't said a word. Lol.  But I think that has to do with our policy's on discrimination, harassment and hostile work environment...but trust I know he noticed. HA

3. Has your performance been rewarded since you’ve been natural? If not, do you believe your hair has been a factor? Any regrets?

 
Considering I am very good at my what I do, how I do AND I'm totally committed/passionate about my professional, I've been and will continue to be rewarded.  I don't think my hair has anything to do with this, but I will say the increase in confidence and inspiration that I found IN ME helps me to better do my job.  So in that essence, I think going natural has made me a better representative of my particular company.

4. What advice would you offer a professional peer who’s on the fence about going natural?

 
First and foremost (like anything), its a commitment...especially if this is your first time.  Once you make the decision, encourage yourself SPEAK OVER YOURSELF (yes like the gospel song) and remember that God created you in his image.  You do not have to conform to society OR to what your family, friends or even co-workers think you should be.  If you are not confident in yourself, this journey will be rough BUT even then you can still be victorious...for their will be some mountains to battle....but know that you can go threw them without a scratch ....not avoid them (go around).
This blog, along with others (like mine, that can be found at www.theorakale25.blogspot.com) are also good to help with daily/weekly encouragement...but remember you have to be stirred up inside to not only make the decision, stick with it and then ENJOY YOUR NEW LOOK AND LIFE!